<h1> MPsays, You Don't Know Until You Know. (Segment One) </h1>

Written by Allen Mark | September 19, 2015


When you feel as though you have tried your hardest. You come to a point where you realize it was all for the experience. You try to look at it, anything, on the bright side. When, in your reality, the bright side doesn't really exist. Not in this world at least. I hold more than just some people on a pedestal. I believe that my entire life is held there as well. I have had this idea for so long of a "Perfect Life" that I haven't really taken the time to actually live this life. I mean, the people I've met, the places I've visited, the relationships I've been apart of... What does it all mean? What will it really stand for? Looking back on everything I cannot help but to wonder, what was it all for?

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I remember in grade school. Seventh grade. I saw this face. Unfamiliar. I had been a student of this school for six years and had never once seen this face.  I walked into the caferteria and there she was seated at a round table. Alone. Eating a bowl of milk and cereal. I remember wondering if she was even in my grade. I assumed she wasn't since I had not recalled seeing her face in the 7th grade halls.

I rememeber mustering up the courage to approach her. I had a slight fear of rejection. Especially if she were older and she couldn't have be younger, she just didn't act like a sixth grader. You know? What can I say, I was in seventh-grade and she was beautiful. I began to conquer my fear and put forth one foot in front of the other 'til I reached her side. But as I took the first step two girls approached her. Very happy. It appeared they were joyous about something. I wasn't paying attention to the actual words professed by either of them only because I felt as though I was rejected before actually speaking. She couldn't have known I was coming. She didn't even see me.

The next thing I thought to do was something bold that would take a whole lot of patience as well as time. I waited. Two months from the moment I first saw her it would be summer break. My plan was, when I returned to the school to begin eighth-grade, after break if I were to see her there, first that would mean that she was in my grade and second I would really have to approach her. And with no hesitation. That was indeed a long long summer.

September finally presented itself. It was the first day of school. I entered the building and proceeded to walk up the stairs to the 3rd floor. The eighth-grade floor. As I reached the double doors, I saw a group of girls chatting and laughing at the punchline of a joke I had missed. I began to walk past the girls, onto and through the double doors. Only, I would notice something that slowed down my steps. It was... This face. The face from the cafeteria the school year prior. I remember being completely speechless. Once the moment passed my steps quickened again as I entered my homeroom. I dropped my bag onto a desk, brushed myself off and took a deep breath. I knew what was next. I had waited all this time. The time had now come. I had to talk to her. Otherwise I would have lied to myself and who wants to do that? I took another deep breath, exited my homeroom, walked gracefully through the double doors and up to the group of girls. I smiled at the girls of the group and then turned to her. I looked her right in the eyes, smiled and said, "hello..."

I guess you don't know until you know.

Continue to Segment 2