MPsays, You Don't Know Until You Know. (Segment Seven)

Written by Allen Mark | November 19, 2015

Review Segment 6

The way this was going you would think we were meeting for the first time. I asked, "could we come in?" She smiled and looked back into the room she was standing in. Her mother was present. She was seeking approval, which was granted. She peered back at me through the space in the door and said, "yes, of course." She opened the door wider to allow us in. We entered.

***************

Just beyond the doorway was, in fact, the dining room. This is where we would sit and chat. Tina's mother offered my friend and I a cold beverage. We politely replied with "yes, ma'am," as I continued to chat it up with Tina. Two minutes later, our beverages are delivered. Then something unusual occurred, her mother warned my friend and myself that upon the arrival of her husband we would have to scurry out. It was not clear as to why, but we just needed to trust her and go.

I know I assume a lot, so I figured, judging from how this man assumed me to be his daughter's "friend" after the graduation, maybe he isn't in favor of his daughter dating. 

Anyway, back to the plan. We needed to leave when we heard the chime on the front door sound. That seems easy enough.

We continue to converse. I learned so much about her and her home life that evening. It was different, however, spending that time with her outside of the norm, public school. I felt like a grownup. We were seated across from one another, staring off and on into each other's eyes while we digested one another's words. 

There were several moments during my relationship with Bertina that I wished would never end. Sitting there, that evening, with her, chatting away was definitely one of them.

Until it happened. Her father appeared in the doorway of the dining room. How was that possible? I thought. There were no chiming sounds. I remember watching his face morph from relieved that he was finally home from work to confused that more people were in his home after hours other than his wife and kids, to angry when he realized that one of the other faces belong to the young man whom he had met just two weeks prior.

There was a slight hesitation of course, but soon after my friend and I jumped out of our seats and ran straight to the door. My first thought was to save my friend first by pushing him out of the door. Just in case, this man turned out to be a madman. I didn't want my friend to be captured and then I have to explain to his mother why something like this happened to her son. I couldn't save myself, though. The last thing I felt was the v-spot just under the last button of the polo shirt I was wearing surround my Adam's apple then my sight grew dark.

You don't know until you know.

Continue to Segment 8

MPsays, Life Is Passing By.

Written by Allen Mark | November 11, 2015

When you place all of your focus solely on the wrong things, that when the right thing approaches you, they will not stop and wait for you to notice them but simply pass you by.

This happens to me quite often. Whether it be on a job offer, an opportunity to travel, connecting with others on a professional level, or even making the right choice on who to fall in love with. I have hit the snooze button on many occasions that could have changed my life for the better. Which is why I am here stuck in this rut. Mentally believing that, "it is what it is", simply because "it is what it isn't." Or is it?

I know (at times) I can speak in circles and mostly not make any sense. However, bare with me because I promise you that my mind is much more intelligent than the words I may present to you.

What happens when you are fed up with the life you are leading and you do not care to indulge yourself in the same silly antics that you typically perform? 
Stop and evaluate your situation, subtract yourself from the equation and view the situation closer. Place yourself back in and determine what does not work. Then finally consider options of change. What did you get?

I, personally, do not care to sit in solace or drown in the depths of emptiness that is created from within my own problematic mind. I, much rather, would prefer to come up with the best positive sollution and begin releasing its power into my life on a daily basis. 

Sometimes, it's not what you do, but it is how you do it that seems to be most effective. Make sense? I hope so. 

MPsays, You Don't Know Until You Know. (Segment Six)

Written by Allen Mark | November 9, 2015

Review Segment 5

The school day was short. This time, when the day concluded it didn't end with a "bye". Instead, it ended with "see you".

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

July 5th. It was a Wednesday. I remember it well. I brought my bike up from the basement, dusted it off, reconnected the chain, pumped the tires, tightened the brakes and took it for a test run. All was well. It began time I set out to locate the residence of where my "girlfriend" lived.

I called a friend to join me on this ride. I stepped into my summer kicks and headed out! I believe we began our journey at around 3 pm. It took us around two hours to locate her home. Once we reached the house, we parked our bikes against the fence near the side door and proceeded to walk up the steps to knock on the door. I remember feeling anxious to see her face. I was distracted by the calming words expressed from my friend that I didn't notice the door grew ajar and peering through the frame of the door was a woman, her mother. I quickly regained focus to then ask if Bertina was home. She explained to me that she was not home, that she was out shopping with family. She then explained that she wouldn't return home until later that evening. To my assumption, I took it as she was telling me to come back later.

This would mean that my friend and I would get lost in the neighborhood until later had come. We probably waited like 3hrs. Man, now that I think about it, he was a good friend.

The time now was 8:15 pm and later had come. We returned to the side door to knock hoping for a different outcome. Here I was anxious again. I knocked softly but loud enough to be heard. This time, I paid close attention to the response. The nob on the door began to jiggle as locks were being undone. The door began to recede from its frame. My eyes, glued to the bronze doorknob as it drew further from me. My eyes traced the edge of the brown wooden door panel, up the side, until it met the pupils of the being behind it. It was her, Bertina. I felt relieved. "Hi", I spoke first to break the tension. Shyly she replied with, "hi", as she looked down to the floor and then back up to my eyes.

The way this was going you would think we were meeting for the first time. I asked, "could we come in?" She smiled and looked back into the room she was standing in. Her mother was present. She was seeking approval, which was granted. She peered back at me through the space in the door and said, "yes, of course." She opened the door wider to allow us in. We entered.

What comes next? You don't know until you know.

Continue to Segment 7