MPsays, I've Made Mistakes I'm Not Proud Of.

Written by Allen Mark | February 19, 2016


Born into this world full of sin just like the last person. And just like the last person the first thing I did was cry instead of give thanks for my existence. Well look at me, already off to a bad start.

As a child, I was the last conceived of four. A lot of people believe that I was spoiled. When in actuality, my parents spent so much money on my older siblings that by the time I joined the family, we were one paycheck short of being broke, but not poor. All the while it has never once broken me. I remained strong and steadfast. That is, until I met you.

My perspective was once untarnished and polished. Now it is ruined by despondency and grief. Some people refer to it as a negative feeling. I live life with worry and I second guess myself all the time. Sometimes I wish these feelings would leave while other times I'm glad they are here. Somehow they make me who I am. It's disgusting, I know?

I'm always wondering how I got this way. How did I become this person who prey on the frail and play with the muddled? This person who feels the right and mourns the wrong? More importantly, how do I return to the place where I use to reside? Wait, do I really want to return there?

No. Not a chance.

It seems I am confused.
No, I'm not.
Yes I am.
Lately I'm not so sure about a lot of things.
Like my thoughts always reverting back to you.
Whatever. I'm not worried about it. Sometimes I am and sometimes I'm wrong and sometimes I'm right.

I need not to be like this. To feel like. 
It is definitely time for a change. 

Starting now. 

MPsays, You Are My Reason.

by Mister Promo | January 30, 2016

I woke up today not thinking that this is the first day of the rest of my life, but instead, I awoke believing that this was the first day leading to the end of my life. What do we really know of the ending of time other than what is read in books or watched in films? Not too much, some of us are fearful while others are fully prepared. Some days I am ready while other days I am scared as hell.

I haven't completed nearly as much as I intend. I've only began sailing toward the horizon just last year. I pray to obtain at least nine more voyages. I'll get there. 

This can't be real.  What I'm feeling is all in my head. Mind over matter, mind over matter. I have to remember that. It's all in my head. I'm perfectly fine. Well, maybe not perfect. But I am fine. I should probably talk to someone about this other than expressing it in a blog.

Month one is over. Month two is twenty-six and a half hours away. Where will you be by then? Will you be apart of this world or will you begin to reside in another? I guess only time will tell.

There are times where I feel like giving up. Then I think of you and I remember what this is all for.
I dislike using the word can't, however, this is my only exception. I can't let go, I must hold tight to my dream, my vision, my purpose. Before this all goes away I must succeed. 

Happy Birthday Louis Braille! ! !

by Mister Promo | January 4, 2016

Louis Braille (a. 43)

Inventor

B. 1:4:1809       D. 1:6:1852

Louis is from a small town, near Paris, name Coupvray.

At age 3, Louis lost his vision due to a horrible accident involving his father's tools.

At age 12, he became the inventor of a particular style of writing for the blind. This became known as Braille.

"In 1821, a former soldier named Charles Barbier visited the school, (where Louis attended). Barbier shared his invention called "night writing," a code of 12 raised dots that let soldiers share top-secret information on the battlefield without even having to speak. Unfortunately, the code was too hard for the soldiers, but not for 12-year-old Louis!"

At age 20, he published his first book, "Method of Writing Words, Music, and Plain Songs by Means of Dots, for Use of the Blind and Arrange for Them."

Good job, Louis Braille!

Click HERE For Full Bio. 

MPsays, You Don't Know Until You Know. (Segment Six)

Written by Allen Mark | November 9, 2015

Review Segment 5

The school day was short. This time, when the day concluded it didn't end with a "bye". Instead, it ended with "see you".

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

July 5th. It was a Wednesday. I remember it well. I brought my bike up from the basement, dusted it off, reconnected the chain, pumped the tires, tightened the brakes and took it for a test run. All was well. It began time I set out to locate the residence of where my "girlfriend" lived.

I called a friend to join me on this ride. I stepped into my summer kicks and headed out! I believe we began our journey at around 3 pm. It took us around two hours to locate her home. Once we reached the house, we parked our bikes against the fence near the side door and proceeded to walk up the steps to knock on the door. I remember feeling anxious to see her face. I was distracted by the calming words expressed from my friend that I didn't notice the door grew ajar and peering through the frame of the door was a woman, her mother. I quickly regained focus to then ask if Bertina was home. She explained to me that she was not home, that she was out shopping with family. She then explained that she wouldn't return home until later that evening. To my assumption, I took it as she was telling me to come back later.

This would mean that my friend and I would get lost in the neighborhood until later had come. We probably waited like 3hrs. Man, now that I think about it, he was a good friend.

The time now was 8:15 pm and later had come. We returned to the side door to knock hoping for a different outcome. Here I was anxious again. I knocked softly but loud enough to be heard. This time, I paid close attention to the response. The nob on the door began to jiggle as locks were being undone. The door began to recede from its frame. My eyes, glued to the bronze doorknob as it drew further from me. My eyes traced the edge of the brown wooden door panel, up the side, until it met the pupils of the being behind it. It was her, Bertina. I felt relieved. "Hi", I spoke first to break the tension. Shyly she replied with, "hi", as she looked down to the floor and then back up to my eyes.

The way this was going you would think we were meeting for the first time. I asked, "could we come in?" She smiled and looked back into the room she was standing in. Her mother was present. She was seeking approval, which was granted. She peered back at me through the space in the door and said, "yes, of course." She opened the door wider to allow us in. We entered.

What comes next? You don't know until you know.

Continue to Segment 7

MPsays, You Don't Know Until You Know. (Segment Five)

Written by Allen Mark | October 29, 2015

Review Segment 4

As Bertina was walking over to her family, her father says loud enough for me to hear, "hey, isn't that your friend? Call him over for a photo." Yeah, that wasn't awkward at all. I walk over, we pose for the photo and all I'm thinking is, she never corrected him.

I never said anything on the subject. Instead, I kept it to myself. As if, it didn't bother me.

We saw one another once more before the break, the next school day. You see, the evening of the graduation was our last day as 8th graders, however, the rest of the grades had one more day. A few of us graduates attended that last day. Bertina and I spent that time connecting and speaking of what life would be like away from one another. Until I had come up with an idea that would result in us not being away but instead together. I asked for her address. She gave it to me. I knew she didn't live close because she took the bus. But I knew if I did not really want to wait out the summer 'til seeing her again, I better pump the tires on my bike and ride through the city looking for her residence.

The school day was short. This time when the day concluded it didn't end with a "bye". Instead it ended with "see you".

It seems real but, you don't know until you know.

Continue to Segment 6

MPsays, You Don't Know Until You Know. (Segment Four)

Written by Allen Mark | October 19, 2015

Review Segment 3

We were known as a cute couple. We were the typical middle school couple. Playing chase, walking around holding hands, sneaking off to hide for quick kisses. That moment in time could've lasted for years if we had the choice.

Only if I knew it then. In fact, the choice was entirely mine. The weeks following would definitely depict what my life with Bertina would consist of.

Rushing ahead a little. It is now the night of our 8th grade dance. In two days we will graduate and move onto become high school students. Okay, hold on, I'm getting too far ahead of myself. It's the night of the dance. I stroll in reasonably late just to make an entrance. There she is, beautiful and not because she is wearing a floor-length burgandy gown. She definitely stood out! It didn't matter to me. That is what I liked about her. The evening was perfect. The music, the setting (school gym), me, her, good times. 

After the dance, I would meet her parents. They were present because they picked her up. It apparently became time for the introduction.

"Hi mom. Hi dad," she says. She then introduces me as Allen. Their assumption, I was a friend. For some reason I understood. Now as I think back, I'm not so sure as to why I did.

Two days later was our graduation. Concluding the ceremony friends and family would meet the graduates in the back parking lot of the school. I met with Bertina and introduced her to my parents as my girlfriend. My dad then breaks out the video camera and begins recording us reciting messages of what we will miss most of middle school. I kissed Bertina on her cheek, wished her a happy summer and watched as she walked over to the direction of her parents. In my mind, I was prepared to wait out the summer once again. In the fall we were going to attend the same school, Central Falls High. So, I wasn't worried about not seeing her again.

Didn't really happen this way though. As Bertina was walking over to her family, her father says loud enough for me to hear, "hey, isn't that your friend? Call him over for a photo." Yeah, that wasn't awkward at all. I walk over, we pose for the photo and all I'm thinking is, she never corrected him.

It's really true, you don't know until you know.

Continue to Segment 5 

MPsays, It's Over But You're Still Concerned.

Written by Mister Promo | October 13, 2015


We began innocent, with knowledge of first names and no background check. The first couple of months were exciting. Nothing was predictable. It was as if we were actors in a stageplay. Each meeting was eventful. A party as you would call it. It was a smooth and yet delightful engagement. This being, whenever we were together, working together. Before long, that would all change. Beginning with attitudes. Happiness became frustration as smiles turned to frowns. Daily communication grew to non-existent.

Yet, here it is, so much time has passed and I am still concerned. Thinking, wondering. How can I help, assist? Am I wasting my time? I'm sure that I am the only one holding on to a rope that is limp on the other end. My hand is already sore from these restraints. I believe it's time I loosen the grip and consider the option of letting go.

Wow! That wasn't hard. Next, my mission is moving on. This should be much easier. There are many other prospects much worthier of my attention and time. I must breathe life into my future and discontinue supplying air to my past. I cannot do it if I have any inkling of an idea that there could be something when there is nothing. So, from now on, I must believe wholeheartedly that there is absolutely no chance for us. Ever.  


Goodbye.

MPsays, God's Greatest Gift to Man.

by Allen Mark | October 5, 2015

Breath

MPsays, You Don't Know Until You Know. (Segment Two)

Written by Allen Mark | September 29, 2015

Review Segment 1

The time had now come. I had to talk to her. Otherwise I would have lied to myself and who wants to do that? I took another deep breath, exited my homeroom, walked gracefully through the double doors and up to the group of girls. I smiled at the girls of the group and then turned to her. I looked her right in the eyes, smiled again and said, "hello." She, then, looked at me and said, "hi."

"My name is Mark. What's yours?", I said. She recited a name that believe it or not, before that day, I had never heard before. So, I proceeded to the next question. Which was, "how did your summer go?" But just after my question was complete, she quickly placed four fingers on the left side and one thumb on the right side of my neck and began squeezing my throat.

Let's skip ahead to the present real quick. As I type this, I'm thinking, "what the hell was that?" That should have been a red flag to run for the city. I would say "run for the hills" but people die there and are sometimes not found for weeks, months even. Okay back to my story.

I stood firm without flinching. I remained focused on her eyes. I slowly raised my right hand and wrapped my fingers around her wrist while asking politely, "are you through?" She released the grip from my throat, brought her two hands together, and began ridding her fingernails from any dead skin she had collected from my neck. Right then, I should have known that this girl was a psycho. Instead, as I caressed the minor pains on my neck, my inner reaction was feeling the entire action of play as HOT!

The next couple of weeks would set the tone of what we meant to one another. We became classmates associates. Nothing more. Turns out she was in a relationship with one of my childhood friends. It would be extremely rude of me to step in and interrupt what they may or not have. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I waited.

In the meantime, I would be meet Angela. We became close in an odd sort of distant type of way. One thing I will never forgot about Angela is our first kiss. It was rushed but passionate. The anticipation of it is what made it significant. We could have had something great. Only, my heart was with cafeteria girl. While Angela was actually interested in my childhood friend, only she was not aware of it yet. Yes, the same friend dating cafeteria girl. Angela and I would remain a couple for four months, from December to March. Exactly one month passed the time of a typical middle school relationship. 

Ironically though, when my relationship would end with Angela, so would the relationshp between my childhood friend and cafeteria girl. Which only meant one thing. There's nothing hindering us from the inevitable. 

Apparently, you don't know until you know.

Continue to Segment 3

MPsays, Walk Out of the Darkness. (2015)

Presented by Allen Mark | September 27, 2015

The American Foundation for 

Suicide Prevention

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is the leading national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy, and to reaching out to people with mental disorders and those impacted by suicide.

 AFSP is also the leader in the fight against suicide. They fund research, create educational programs, advocate for public policy, and support survivors of suicide loss. Led by CEO Robert Gebbia and headquartered in New York, AFSP has 75 local chapters and events nationwide.

Thanks to Walkers and Donors like you, AFSP has been able to set a goal to reduce the annual suicide rate 20% by 2025.

This year's goal for Springfield, MA was $95,000. What amount raised was $42,163. Great job, Springfield!! 

Here are a few walkers from the Springfield, MA community walk that took place earlier today.

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If you see yourself and you

would like a copy, email:

mrpromoblog@gmail.com

Don't forget to include

the number of the image.

Peace.

MPsays, October 15th. "HAPPY...! Well."

Writtern by Allen Mark | September 26, 2015


At times we look to certain dates as being special. These dates, they have a bit of significance. Birthdays, graduations, first dates, first introductions. More importantly, anniversaries. Anniversaries. 

We tend to care very much about the celebration of it rather than the actually meaning behind it. We care so much for it that when the reason behind the celebration is no longer there and or present, we think not of the date anymore as being special. In fact, it slowly becomes forgotten. It returns to being just a regular day again.

October 15th? Oh, it's just a Thursday.

MPsays, A Quote For A Day. (02)

Written by Allen Mark | September 20, 2015

Feel like another stroll down Memory Lane?
I used to send a quote by text every day.
Until one day, I stopped.
Here are a few more.
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3/4/15
"A mile is only but a marker or a stone.
You could pick it up and throw it.
Instead just make moves however you please.
Whether it's fast pace or slow motion."
- Allen Mark
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3-5-15
"Clear your mind, pray a little,
breathe deep and execute."
- Allen Mark
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3-6-15
"What goes up must come down.
But just remember, what comes down
doesn't always have to stay there."
~ Allen Mark
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3-7-15
"Sometimes the things I say and do
aren't always what I truly mean.
I can only try my hardest to be
the man you desire me to be."
- Allen Mark
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 3-8-15
"When you, so bad, want to yell out,
"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"
But you don't. Instead you live life
day to day until you naturally
conquer your trials and tribulations."
~ Allen Mark

MPsays, You Don't Know Until You Know. (Segment One)

Written by Allen Mark | September 19, 2015


When you feel as though you have tried your hardest. You come to a point where you realize it was all for the experience. You try to look at it, anything, on the bright side. When, in your reality, the bright side doesn't really exist. Not in this world at least. I hold more than just some people on a pedestal. I believe that my entire life is held there as well. I have had this idea for so long of a "Perfect Life" that I haven't really taken the time to actually live this life. I mean, the people I've met, the places I've visited, the relationships I've been apart of... What does it all mean? What will it really stand for? Looking back on everything I cannot help but to wonder, what was it all for?

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I remember in grade school. Seventh grade. I saw this face. Unfamiliar. I had been a student of this school for six years and had never once seen this face.  I walked into the caferteria and there she was seated at a round table. Alone. Eating a bowl of milk and cereal. I remember wondering if she was even in my grade. I assumed she wasn't since I had not recalled seeing her face in the 7th grade halls.

I rememeber mustering up the courage to approach her. I had a slight fear of rejection. Especially if she were older and she couldn't have be younger, she just didn't act like a sixth grader. You know? What can I say, I was in seventh-grade and she was beautiful. I began to conquer my fear and put forth one foot in front of the other 'til I reached her side. But as I took the first step two girls approached her. Very happy. It appeared they were joyous about something. I wasn't paying attention to the actual words professed by either of them only because I felt as though I was rejected before actually speaking. She couldn't have known I was coming. She didn't even see me.

The next thing I thought to do was something bold that would take a whole lot of patience as well as time. I waited. Two months from the moment I first saw her it would be summer break. My plan was, when I returned to the school to begin eighth-grade, after break if I were to see her there, first that would mean that she was in my grade and second I would really have to approach her. And with no hesitation. That was indeed a long long summer.

September finally presented itself. It was the first day of school. I entered the building and proceeded to walk up the stairs to the 3rd floor. The eighth-grade floor. As I reached the double doors, I saw a group of girls chatting and laughing at the punchline of a joke I had missed. I began to walk past the girls, onto and through the double doors. Only, I would notice something that slowed down my steps. It was... This face. The face from the cafeteria the school year prior. I remember being completely speechless. Once the moment passed my steps quickened again as I entered my homeroom. I dropped my bag onto a desk, brushed myself off and took a deep breath. I knew what was next. I had waited all this time. The time had now come. I had to talk to her. Otherwise I would have lied to myself and who wants to do that? I took another deep breath, exited my homeroom, walked gracefully through the double doors and up to the group of girls. I smiled at the girls of the group and then turned to her. I looked her right in the eyes, smiled and said, "hello..."

I guess you don't know until you know.

Continue to Segment 2

MPsays, We Are No Longer Friends.

Written by Allen Mark | September 13, 2015

A few days ago it became quite clear to me that we are no longer friends. I know this because conversation ceases to exist since you left. I won't lie to myself, I miss you like crazy. But, this is my reality now. I just have to accept that you are no longer apart of it. Simply because when standing in front of two very opposite paths, one extremely difficult for you to maneuver yourself through and the other where the action of it would be effortless. You chose the easy route. This route you chose ended us. Now you're gone and I'm alone. When we were together we had, what some may refer to as, good times. We've connected on levels higher than I have with anyone else I know. Aside from my mother of course. You and I were good. A little too good, if you ask me. It doesn't matter now.

Although you are no longer around, I can somehow feel your presence within every sunrise.

The Anaglyptography Remains Agapeistic.
This is how I shall remember you always.

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