Showing posts with label born. Show all posts
Showing posts with label born. Show all posts

Friday, February 19, 2016

MPsays, I've Made Mistakes I'm Not Proud Of.

Written by Allen Mark | February 19, 2016


Born into this world full of sin just like the last person. And just like the last person the first thing I did was cry instead of give thanks for my existence. Well look at me, already off to a bad start.

As a child, I was the last conceived of four. A lot of people believe that I was spoiled. When in actuality, my parents spent so much money on my older siblings that by the time I joined the family, we were one paycheck short of being broke, but not poor. All the while it has never once broken me. I remained strong and steadfast. That is, until I met you.

My perspective was once untarnished and polished. Now it is ruined by despondency and grief. Some people refer to it as a negative feeling. I live life with worry and I second guess myself all the time. Sometimes I wish these feelings would leave while other times I'm glad they are here. Somehow they make me who I am. It's disgusting, I know?
I'm always wondering how I got this way. How did I become this person who prey on the frail and play with the muddled? This person who feels the right and mourns the wrong? More importantly, how do I return to the place where I use to reside? Wait, do I really want to return there?

No. Not a chance.

It seems I am confused.
No, I'm not.
Yes I am.
Lately I'm not so sure about a lot of things.
Like my thoughts always reverting back to you.
Whatever. I'm not worried about it. Sometimes I am and sometimes I'm wrong and sometimes I'm right.

I need not to be like this. To feel like. 
It is definitely time for a change. 

Starting now.